Rarely have I ever had a client meeting where clients have not expressed some positive intention to attend to certain aspects of their financial plan details. These intentions can vary widely. They include anything from correcting insufficient life insurance coverage to gathering and relaying documents to us for a cash flow analysis. The words may vary, but they come out sounding something like this:
- “I’ve left this unattended for too long and it’s a relief to be getting this done.”
- “It feels good to be getting these things in order. I’ll get those statements to you right away.”
- “I’m so glad to be working with you on this!”
These positive intentions are wonderful to hear, aren’t they? I believe people mean it in the moment they say it. I might even secretly congratulate myself for doing such a fine job of communicating to them. I used to think I could sit back and soon the promised behavior would present itself in the agreed-upon timeframe.
Then one day I got real about real time and real life and the overextended culture we live in. Was it because I began to think like a shrink? Perhaps, or maybe I just made some honest observations about how infrequently those promises were kept.
Now I label these expressions of positive intentions, “Motivated Moments.” In motivated moments, our clients have temporary amnesia. They have forgotten about their crazed days that steal away their time to do anything extra. They have amnesia about how much they hate digging for documents or thinking about the future in terms of financial planning. They failed to remember how much they hate making changes.
When I hear those glowing, warm, fuzzy motivated moments, I know it is time to acknowledge their motivation and compliment them on it. Then I also get real with them by adding my “Permission to Pester Pause.” This is what it sounds like:
- “Pat, it is great to see and hear your motivation on this.”
- [pause]
- “Pat, this is where I must ask you for your ‘permission to pester.’
- “We’ve agreed you will get this to me in three days.”
- “My permission to pester simply means you want me to remind you if needed, and that you will respond promptly, so that we can get this done in the timeframe we’ve indicated today.”
- “I know how crazy busy your typical day is, and what I’m asking is that you will make this a priority, in spite of your hectic schedule.”
- “Can you do that for both of us?”
- “And if I have to exercise this permission to pester, you agree you will respond the first time, so that neither of us has to experience repeated pestering? I’m horrible at that.”
- “All right, we’re good to go. I’ve set my Pester Patrol for Friday the 13th, but I’m hoping I won’t have to use it! Does that sound like a good plan for now?”
The “Permission to Pester” and “Pester Patrol” phrases are both light-hearted in their delivery, which heightens their effectiveness. It’s always good to share some chuckles and acknowledge that some of the steps don’t make our clients “Most fun things to do list,” but the results make them worth the pestering. By getting permission to pester, you’re more likely to not have to do it, and that’s better for everyone!