Rays of Hope in Times of Loss

Always NEAR

I originally created the acronym NEAR for an article in SELF magazine, to help readers remember the common experiences of grieving. The many unfamiliar emotions are painful and often visit us when we least expect it. The letters stand for:

Numb - initially we are shocked and numb to the feelings that come later.

Emotions - after the numbness, many emotions: anger, despair, confusion.

Acceptance - when we accept the permanence of our loss & move forward.

Reconstructed - rebuild our lives, integrating positive meanings into the loss.

      Our loved ones are always NEAR and can help us find new meanings as we rebuild our lives in their absence. Grieving their loss is a lifelong process that matures and evolves as we grow.

Elevating Hope

When I was in 8th grade our school introduced us to a new, cutting edge computerized assessment that promised to expertly predict our future careers. I remember the pages and pages of questions, filling in the circles perfectly with my #2 pencil, and then waiting many weeks for the results. When the day came and our guidance instructors handed out the printed assessment reports, they were truly impressive looking, and mighty thick! I scanned the multiple pages with excited anticipation to see what I would be when I grew up. Finally on the last page, my future career was announced to me in two words. I’ll give you a hint, so you can share the anticipation with me for just a moment. The first letters of the two words were: E.O.

What do you think E.O. stood for? Executive Officer, maybe? A terrific guess, but no. My career destiny, according to this impressive computer science evaluation was:

Elevator Operator!

The Family Love Letter

In times of loss, financial matters do not take care of themselves. If death creates substantial financial difficulties, the grieving process is all the more painful and complicated. Perhaps you have been an excellent caretaker of people, but if your money could express itself, it might say, "I feel a bit neglected!" Well, you are not alone. According to a Money magazine poll conducted last year, saving more money was the top financial goal for 2006.

One way I've recommended people think about a savings plan is to think of it as a "money nanny" who gives it a kindly dose of discipline and does a little money makeover to achieve better outcomes down the road.

If you are the one trying to sort through a loved one's financial matters and their documents are hard to locate or organize, you may have begun to ponder your own finances in a new perspective. If you want to make sure your finances are organized to help your loved ones, write us for a document called "The Family Love Letter." It will help you compile all your important information in one place, and express your wishes as well. We also conduct seminars for family communication about estate plans, which you can access at www.mindfulspeaking.com.