It doesn't matter how many years, or even decades have passed since a significant loss happened. It's important to know that it's not unusual to feel a return of some of the intensive emotions that were part of your earlier grieving. Conversely, you may experience new emotions that never occurred during your early grieving experience.
Our brains and bodies have memories that may reside in our unconscious minds. It's not unusual to be unaware of an anniversary date when the day begins, yet when you see the date for the 9th time that day, you suddenly burst into tears realizing it is the five year anniversary of a loved one's passing.
This happened to me last year. It was my first day back at the office after a speaking engagement that was out of the country. The travel schedule had been challenging and I'd been very preoccupied with the material I was presenting.
My first day back to the office began with the usual catching up tasks. Multiple emails, all containing the five year date of my mother's passing, flew by me unnoticed. But when I scheduled an appointment for later that day, the date suddenly loomed large and bold and flashing in its significance. MOM! It's been five years! I miss you! I wish I'd kept the dress you'd sewn for me when I was eight. The one that had caught fire when I stood on the stool by the stove to talk on the phone. The one grandpa noticed and shook out before the flame ever touched my flesh. The one you repaired with your seamstress mastery. You patched the burned out area so precisely, that the patch was completely invisible. Oh, Mom, you were so talented!
Were there any emotions in this five year anniversary realization? Absolutely! They ranged from gratitude and wonder, to regret and sorrow. And no matter what their intensity, the facts remained. The best thing I could do was notice the emotions, allowing them to be felt, and embrace their authenticity. Share the story with trusted loved ones of my mother's patching the burned dress. And speak of the quiet love that my mother didn't talk about, but demonstrated in many other ways. Rays of hope shined bright on the memories!